We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize