no, he came in my armpit
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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