His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
