I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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