you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I looked at my own cervix.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
