Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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