Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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