just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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