Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
