google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
