STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
