Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize