White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
