yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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