i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
