My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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