I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
