my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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