Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
