I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
