All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
