This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
