I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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