After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
