Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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