Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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