I think my vagina is haunted
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have tasted many bathrooms
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
