It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
