i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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