she looked like the before picture.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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