Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
