Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
our cab driver is having phone sex.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
