Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
