I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
