when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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