Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
