she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
