never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
