Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
