just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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