please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize