Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
