The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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