So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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