Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
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I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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