Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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