he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
