the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
