im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
