Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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