This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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