she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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