stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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