Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Jerry, you need to find god
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize