My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The ass gains better be worth it
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