What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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