bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
two words...techno handjob
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sorry my hands just texted you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
