just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
