Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
