i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
