im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
