biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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