Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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