whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My ass is underappreciated
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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