just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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