He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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